My brother Hans was 38 years old when he was found dead in a Berlin hotel room. He had suffered a cardiac arrest, caused by drugs. His death was a fact, the way he died a taboo. For many years, we– his family – did not speak openly about his addictions.But I had so many questions to ask Hans. Why did you get addicted, why not me? What happened that made you become addicted? How does addiction feel? Could I have done anything to prevent it?With this book I am breaking the taboo. The book reflects my feelings, thoughts, and memories during my search for answers to the questions I could not ask Hans anymore. I visited Berlin, studied our family albums, and talked to many people who dealt with addictions.The book will be accompanied by a video installation in which people who have recovered from addiction answer my questions instead of my brother. Their story will be published in the book. It shows the human being behind addiction.